Sam by the Sea

by Mindy


We went to the beach the other day. The whole family. We packed up Sam, his feeding pump, formula, medications, diapers, extra clothes, absorbent pads just in case he vomited and a bathing suit on the off chance that he’d be awake to enjoy the water. But he wasn’t. He slept the entire time we were there. We weren’t really sure how we were going to get him into the water anyway because he’s so heavy and unwieldy. We did bring a life vest just in case. That’s a lesson we learned when we took him to Hawaii when he was two. He loved the waves. Just laughed and laughed. But one particular wave, an especially big one, almost swept him right from David’s arms. Since then we’ve been more cautious.

He slept so peacefully in the jog stroller, underneath the umbrella with the sound of the breaking waves. Still, I wanted him to experience the beach. Really experience it – toes in the sand, wind in his hair, cool water crashing against his legs. Weird to think it was probably his last time.

With Sam asleep everyone else was able to enjoy the outing. He wasn’t yelling so loudly, or thrashing about, or hitting himself like he used to do so often. So in some ways it’s gotten easier to be out with him now that he sleeps so much. But emotionally it’s so much harder.